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[enoderedrum]

 

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ripraven

CURRENT HOUSING:

Currently living both in his designated housing, but also Adams House (pretty much in Kavinsky's bed nightly).

 

SCARS / MARKINGS:
ENVY - Cut into his left forearm (via Blue)
SUFFER - Carving into his calf via himself.
WRIST SCARS (successful suicide) + Thigh SCAR.
WRIST TATTOO -  Paw on his right wrist (via Kavinsky)
THROAT TATTOO - A raven with its wings spread on either side of his neck,
the face is a skull of the raven instead, and the background is filled with blue, purple and hints of red watercolor splashes. (Tattoo shop on Mammons Island.)
RIBCAGE TATTOO - An arrow for Clint and an hourglass for Nat.
STITCH SCARS AROUND MOUTH + slightly damaged vocal cords - Thanks to The Veiled Order capture.
MERMAN Features; white hands with claws and subtle webbing that's retractable, iridescent scales over his hands and in random spots.

DEMON ATTRIBUTES:

Demon Teeth.
The beginning of Pointy Ears (not pictures because right now they're just itchy and growing).
[These are based off Hellburbia Suicide].
Slowly his hands are turning White and his nails are turning into claws (basically)





RICHARD JOSEPH LYNCH
aka
little grey dragon he adopted from Mammons Island.

 

N A V I G A T I O N:  kinks & permissions | visuals | funeral | bdsm info | cr chart
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Comments

[greedbowstome]

He knows how Noah's...power works. They've used it together enough, it's kind of old hat now. Except it's been a month without it. More than, even. And Kaz really doesn't know what to expect this time. In this room. In the dark. Everything is quiet, only the hum that comes with so much silence stacked on top of itself.

An apology.
Useless.
Stupid.
He wanted this.
Asked for it.
He––

This kiss is nothing at all like the last ones he had shared with Noah. This was not the soft thing, full of sweetness and hunger; it was desperate and jagged as everything pours from Noah into Kaz, a dizzying deluge of so many things.

So much pain and anger and bitterness, and Saints, the loneliness, Kaz isn't sure he's felt any quite so deep before. It was hard to keep track of the race of it all flooding his focus at once.

Almost as quickly as it had started, it ended. Abrupt and jarring in a different way than the first.

Except.
Except.

"No." he says, almost too quickly to even be a word at all. One glove disappears, discarded carelessly as he reaches and hooks his fingers around Noah's own. He should say something else. Maybe anything at all. But he doesn't know how to. Or what it would be if he tried. What it even should be. What shape it should take.

So he doesn't bother trying to put it into words. He just shifts his hand in the ghost's, curls his fingers through the spaces in Noah's. He isn't even sure what the point of it is, this... attempt. This gesture. But he is sure of one thing, and it's that touch is one of the most important tools for Noah. And even though some part of Kaz is practically wilting inside of him for even trying to say something, everything, without any words at all, he refuses to let go.

[enoderedrum]

The gesture…is everything.

It’s everything. It stuns Noah into a sort of astonished silence.

This is what he hoped he did for Kaz but he was never sure if he could ever accomplish it. It was like someone reaching in and pressing pause on a storm.

No?

“….why did you say no?” He asks quietly, fascinated by the feel of the other boys hand tangled up with his own. Why was he touching him? Why would he risk continuing to go through that flurry of bullshit?

Tipping his head back against he brushes their noses together. And waits.

[greedbowstome]

The truth is... he isn't exactly sure. It was just the only thing that felt right at the time. No, don't leave. No, don't let go. No, no, no was a drum beat in his head and he'd acted on it. Uselessly. Pointlessly. Unsure of why, or where to go from it at all.

"I... I don't– I don't know," the last, full response is said around a half-hearted laugh that is more awkward, than humorous. His brain is working faster than he can make sense of the thoughts, mixed with all of Noah's everything, it's hard to put it in any sort of order. "I just– I told you... I'd carry it with you, I..."

He's close. He's so close and it's so hard to think. Through his own thoughts. Through Noah's emotions. Through warring sets of memories, of Jesper and Noah in his suite, of Kavinsky at the edge of a pool. But there's a softness, here, Noah nuzzling against him, and it's the only thing he wants to cling to, the only thing he wants the other boy to think about.

So he shifts, this tiniest little turn of his head to brush his lips against Noah's. Not really even a kiss, but the promise of one, if Noah wants it.

[enoderedrum]

The laugh softens everything further. Draws him out of his own head and back into the safety of this dark room. Of the quiet. Of nothing but…them. Again, he is somehow reminded of the fact that Kaz is supposed to be this dangerous boy, someone you probably wouldn’t want to be locked in a dark room with but he can’t find any thread of reason to make him worry.

His lips tip upward in a smile but he breathes an amuse noise instead of a laugh.

There are emotions weaving around through his own, hints of things but Noah doesn’t try to take hold of them. He’s tired. Tired of fighting with them. Or trying to hold on and let go of others. He’s tired of trying to convince himself that being alone is better. Safer. It isn’t.

It’s just making it worse. He’d rather be mad, or hurt.

The kiss comes and Noah’s brain completely stops working for what feels like forever. But before he can stop himself from reacting, he presses forward and opens his mouth to it. Tastes just enough of the other boy to shake his hand free and reach up to keep him close. A warm sigh on an exhale and he relaxes almost completely.

Stay…

[greedbowstome]

He should have expected it, he thinks. That near-immediate reaction as Noah surges forward, goes full-tilt for a proper kiss this time. It's enough to shock him, just for a second, and then he responds in kind. He presses just a little closer when Noah untangles their fingers to pull him in because it feels right. It feels safe. It is safe, because it's Noah.

There are a hundred thoughts running through his head, but it's just a buzz in the back of his mind. His focus is on Noah and the much more pleasant hum under his skin right now. He reaches again for Noah's hand with his glove-free one, fingers threading together and squeezing gently.

He almost repeats, 'Don't leave,'.
But he decides it sounds different, better somehow, to say, "Just stay..." instead. Eyes closed. Pressed what should be impossibly close, but isn't. Because it's Noah, and because of Noah and all the work of months before this.

[enoderedrum]

It’s comes so much more easily than he thought it would. The decision. The answer.

“Okay,” he breathes, keeps his eyes closed and doesn’t move. Can’t move. Won’t move. What’s the worst that could happen now? He’d already literally given Kaz his problems.

Most of them anyway. He tried to keep most of the feelings involving Kavinsky at bay.

He carefully retrieved his hand and took a half step back, not wanting to force anything else on Kaz while he was still recovering from that charade, “okay.”

[greedbowstome]

He didn't expect it to be so simple.

He blinks in confusion as Noah lets go, steps back, but he says okay.

Okay.

He didn't expect just how much relief it might flood him with for Noah to agree. It's a breath breathed back into his lungs he never knew he was holding to begin with. "Really?" It isn't doubt that makes him ask, no, he sounds...hopeful. He wants this, more than he could explain why to anyone, least of all himself.

[enoderedrum]

“I’ve already let you feel my fear of abandonment, how it felt to be forgotten, the guilt I’ve had for over a month and my jealousy….there’s no point in staying away now,” he breathes, relieved and amused.

He pauses, “though, you did play dirty by kissing me.”

[greedbowstome]

"I know you won't listen, but... you've nothing to be guilty for." Kaz is sure it will make not a single drop of difference in the way it feels, but maybe hearing it means something anyway.

He can't help the soft, amused huff of a sound at that. "...you started it." he counters.

[enoderedrum]

“I told you I missed you, and you know how it works. Two birds one stone,” he huffs softly and smoothed his hands unconsciously around the others waist; mostly toying with the fabric beneath his fingers.

[greedbowstome]

Kaz didn't remember Noah to miss him, but he doesn't dare to say it, or even fully conceptualize the thought, lest it becomes translated somehow into something Noah can feel in him. He doesn't want to travel back down that road. This one is much better.

"So... where do we go, then?" A random room, to continue being alone, in more comfort than can be afforded in an office-space? Kaz's suite, for the familiarity...?

[enoderedrum]

Noah blinks in the dark and tries to think; he misses his house but they obviously can’t go there. None of the Ravens can. He finds himself leaning in , closer, closer, closer until his forehead is pressed against the other boys shoulder.

“I’ll go wherever you wanna go,” he murmurs, and then tips his head back again to look up at him again in the dark. This is safe. His nose brushes along his jaw and he reluctantly unloops his arms from around him, “but I’m taking my pants off and using you as a pillow.”

[greedbowstome]

He laughs softly at that. "Saints, Noah." he mutters, shaking his head. Is it wrong to want to go somewhere else than his own suite? It's not in some sort of effort to hide anything. Inej knows the specific, sometimes peculiar, and always important nature of his relationship with Noah. It is no secret.

"Come on." he mumbles, tugging gently on his fingers as he goes toward the door. They can steal away in one of the many, empty rooms in the hotel. Just for a night.

[enoderedrum]

Curious, Noah grabs his bag again because he isn’t about to leave his clean clothes in a random office. But he also keeps his fingers looped with Kaz’s. He notes the lack of cane and arches a brow but he doesn’t mention it. If he was up and just wanted to move a bit it made sense that he might have left the cane behind. He just hopes he didn’t leave it - leave it.

He stays close and gradually lowers his guard, letting his own feelings radiate towards the other boy; curiosity, uncertainty, affection….relief.

[greedbowstome]

Kaz pauses on the way out to grab the glove he'd let go of earlier, though he doesn't put it back on. He could ask, Kaz would have no issue answering him over it, but as it is, he doesn't break the silence between them. It's not the tense air that was clinging to the air around them earlier. Not that any of the things that were bothering either one of them were just gone, nothing about any of this is that simple, but it all sits just a little bit lighter for the moment.

It's a strange feeling, that invisible link that Noah seems to so easily create between them. He keeps it from being anything like the flood from earlier, but it's there all the same. The faint tickle of curiosity, the wobbly uncertainty, the warmth of affection, the ripple of relief. Softer-edged than the messy, sharp tangle of everything before it.

He leads them to a room that isn't otherwise occupied and flicks the lock on the door once it's shut behind them. A potentially suggestive action from someone else; purely paranoia and security-based with Kaz, though.

"Were you in my closet while I was gone?" he asks suddenly, frowning curiously at the other boy. He's certain he knows the answer already.

[enoderedrum]

The lock clicks into place and Noah arches a brow as he drops his bag aside once more, “…yeah, I was…”

Oh! The clothes. He grins softly, still exhausted but amused none the less, “I gave you some things.”

[greedbowstome]

He snorts softly, "I noticed." he rolls his eyes, gently toeing his shoes off by the door. He knows this is... odd. He can't even explain why he was compelled to do this. He shakes the thought away and moves toward the bed. He's really over-taxed his damn leg without the cane, at this point, honestly.

He leans back against the mound of pillows at the top of the bed and runs a hand along his right leg. He sets the glove in his hand on the side table and plucks the other one off to join it. It's still such a foreign feeling, but one he's at least idly comfortable with sometimes, in the right setting and with the right people.

[enoderedrum]

Following Kaz into the bedroom, he tips his head and watches him lounge against the pillows. The situation feels…intimate but he isn’t dumb enough to think that this is meant in a…sexy way. It’s probably more to make sure he doesn’t run off or something.

His eyes go to the other boys leg and he purses his lips, “Take your pants off, Kaz.”

[greedbowstome]

"I thought you were the one losing pants, not me." he perks a brow at him curiously. He can hazard a guess at exactly what he's thinking already, though. It wouldn't be the first time Noah has insisted he takes his pants off for muscle massage purposes, and he supposes it won't be the last either.

Instead of arguing it any further, though, he does stand again only to remove his trousers before settling back on the bed again.

[enoderedrum]

Noah’s brows raise at how damn easy that was.

“No arguments? No resistance at all. I’m surprised,” he moves away from the doorway and crawls up onto the bed, shifting to be able to get access to the others leg, “someone wants to make sure I don’t run off.”

He gives him a look that begs him to argue that this isn’t a ploy to keep him from running off to his creepy forest. But he relents and shakes his hands out a little to get the blood flowing a bit better before he starts feeling around. He can tell there’s scar tissue, tight webbing beneath the skin. He makes note of the general points and then rubs his hands along the other boys thigh, probably higher than necessary but he did lock the door.

[greedbowstome]

"It hurts," he replies easily, and that certainly isn't a lie at all. A part of him does want to argue it, but as happens so frequently with Noah, he finds that the energy of arguing a point he can feel isn't a whole truth pointless. So he takes a different direction with it instead. "Is that such a bad thing?"

The injury is old at this point, and he's used to both the way it feels, and how it looks. But it doesn't make it less awkward to watch Noah inspect it a little closer. "Hey," he mutters in a soft warning when the other boy's hand travels a bit too high. His voice all soft edges, no intent to do much more about it at the moment unless he really had to.

[enoderedrum]

“Trust me, I’m not going to take advantage of you,” Noah murmurs and lightens up his touch. He’s meticulous and careful, massaging and working through things the way he had the first time. And he goes quiet for what feels like a long time, enjoying the silence and the ease of just being around Kaz.

He tips his head and lets out a slow breath, “are we gonna talk about it?”

[greedbowstome]

"I do trust you," he says softly, like it's a secret. It isn't, but it still comes out that way, a private thing meant for no one else to ever know.

His chest clenches. There's no doubt in his mind what 'it' he's talking about. He wants to say no, to tell him they're better off just forgetting it all and moving on, but that won't work, will it? "...If you want to," he says quietly after a small stretch of silence. It feels more like something he should leave in Noah's hands.

[enoderedrum]

Noah nods slowly and eases up on the massage in favor of slipping off of the bed to finally take his damn pants off. If they were settled for the evening then he didn’t need them anymore either.

“It wasn’t under either of your control, so I’m not upset with either of you over it,” he starts, “Honestly it’s just another day when it comes to Kavinsky.”

He glances over, “but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t…jealous? Which sounds dumb. We’re friends. If anyone should be jealous it’s Jes. You two are practically married and if your guys’ unresolved sexual tension was flammable, I’d be wary of all means of fire.”

He huffs and moves to grab the bag of his laundry where he digs out another hoodie and throws it at Kaz, “Here.”

[greedbowstome]

The loss of his hands on his leg is felt instantly, the cool air of the room sharply noticeable where it was warmer seconds ago from the pressure and movement. His eyes follow Noah as he slides off the bed, some distant, stupid part of him desperate to be sure he isn’t leaving. He’s perfectly aware that despite what he says or does, nothing is actually keeping Noah here.

The casual admission of the first part sits strangely on Kaz’s shoulders for a reason he can’t quite pinpoint. “It isn’t dumb,” is the first thing he feels he has to say. Not to placate him, but because he genuinely believes it, and Noah deserves to know it. “And I know we’re…friends but it’s…” Different. More than that, still, too. But Kaz has never been sure how to truly define his relationship with Noah. Reluctant acquaintances to start. But it has shifted and changed so much from that first month. He doesn’t feel like just friends with Noah. He’d never be inclined to feel or look at or kiss Nina and Wylan the way he does with Noah. So it can’t just be friends.

He blinks, his thoughts jarred from the clothes thrown at him and he can’t help the soft amused sound. “Okay…?” He does the expected thing and swaps his current shirt for the hoodie— he doesn’t hate it, it’s warm and comfortable, looser and less restrictive than some of the things Kaz usually wears.